We've all been there at least once. You come across a place/title/menu item/name/reference/fancy word from another language and you have no idea how to pronounce the word. Or perhaps you "kind of" have an idea...but you run the risk of embarrassment. Situations can vary in intensity: you're in front of your girlfriend, her parents, her snobby hipster older brother, you're in a college class, you're in AP Lit, you're in a foreign country, you're a diplomat, you're John Travolta...etc. This is a case by case basis. Some situations require different responses, or can be used ubiquitously. Here are my go-to answers for being an awkward linguistic neophyte.
1. The "John Travolta" - Blindly pronounce your word in question with the utmost sincerity, and subsequently be mocked for it weeks, maybe months, later. I don't necessarily recommend this, unless you are with friends or cozy family members who won't video record your human ignorance.
2. The "Go Big or Go Home" - This approach applies to situations in which you are able to pronounce your word/place/etc. like a true champ, but are unsure as to whether or not to use the colloquial version or the actual one, i.e. Chile (like chill-E) versus Chile (CHEE-lay). With this strategy, say it like it should be said, ESPECIALLY if you are talking in a different language. Of course, you may or may not want to offend those around you, so make sure you're not being a show off. That's for the option below.
3. The "Pretentious College Student" - This is easy. Put your nose in the air, assume a condescending look, a bored tone of voice, and you're practically no longer mainstream. Say the word however you wish, even and especially if it's wrong. Your confidence will either come across as devastatingly and jealousy inducing intelligence or absolutely intolerable.
4. The "Awkward Culture Starved Fake Adorable Thing" - Chances are, we've all done this, some with more class than others. This is where you achingly mispronounce everything, but you know exactly what you are doing. Your attempt may sound similar to, "I'll have the tomato and basil FoCAYchacha....you know, that bread thingy right here. I'm so sorry, I don't even know what I'm saying." Under no circumstances should this be used when with anyone or in a place of serious distinction/sophistication, like when you're the Secretary of State or out to dinner with one. May be passable for cuteness points or first dates.
5. The "Undercover Agent" - Use a nearby smartphone, butler, college professor, or dictionary to cover your behind. No one will EVER now. Reap the benefits.
6. The "Shameless Descent" - If you truly are in a jam, and aren't a highly paid official of any sort, this is a perfect go to. When you come across an unknown or unclear term, simply state that you don't know the pronunciation, and let the academic discussion begin. Turns out, this is probably the best thing you could do about ANYTHING you don't know....ask! You earn intellectual street cred and learn something. There literally is nothing wrong here.
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